Sometimes I just feel really mixed up about things and I wish someone could read  my mind so that I wouldn’t have to figure out a way to put my thoughts and feelings into words.  This would be especially helpful for me because I can never seem to keep things bottled up, so I end up trying to express my feelings in words that just don’t come out right; at least not the first time.

I guess this inability to voice my feelings arrives when I just don’t get it, or can’t figure things out; when I question why things are going the way they are, or why I have to be the one who’s so confused and unsure.  Sometimes I just have  moments where I’m like, “This is annoying and confusing and I don’t get why it keeps happening to me.”  I know, that sounds like a pity party right there, but honestly, I know that in the grand scheme of things, sheesh, in the really small scheme of things, I have been incredibly blessed by God, my parents, and all those around me my entire life.  That is something I know for sure.  Still, we all have those days or moments where we feel down ’cause we don’t know what the heck’s going on.

A few weeks ago, I found this chart on Ms. Nancy’s desk in the front office called “Handy Little Chart – God Has a Positive Answer,” and made a copy of it for myself.  All you do is find what you’re feeling on the chart, and it will give you some words of encouragement from God (so simple! ha).  This morning I looked, and of course, in the middle was my thought:  I can’t figure things out.  Thankfully, Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds me that of course I don’t know what’s going on sometimes, but I should rely on God to help me out– “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways acknowledge God, and God will make your paths straight.”  When I wish that things would work out my way, or at least be less confusing, I need to remember to focus on God’s plan, not mine.

I have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow, much less in a few months or years down the road, so a lot of times, it’s easier to just “let go and let God” (I always thought that was a kind of cheesy phrase, but I guess it’s good advice).  You’d think this might come easier for someone who has always been trusting of others, who chooses to seek the good in everyone.  I love the feeling of trusting someone because it means there is some kind of bond of honesty and authenticity in the relationship.  That being said, why is it so much harder for me to remember to trust God than it is to trust my parents or friends?  God knows what’s going on, even when I have no clue.  That, of course, is reassuring; I just need to learn to trust God automatically, and not only when I feel confused as heck about situations or people in my life.  I don’t know about y’all but that, for me, is a lot harder than it seems.

Just in case you’re wondering, here’s the “Handy Little Chart.”

You say: “It’s impossible” God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)
You say: “I’m too tired” God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: “Nobody really loves me” God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 3:34)
You say: “I can’t go on” God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: “I can’t figure things out” God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)
You say: “I can’t do it” God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)
You say: “I’m not able” God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: “It’s not worth it” God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28)
You say: “I can’t forgive myself” God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: “I can’t manage” God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)
You say: “I’m afraid” God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)
You say: “I’m always worried and frustrated” God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)
You say: “I don’t have enough faith” God says: I’ve given everyone a measure of faith (Romans 12:3)
You say: “I’m not smart enough” God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: “I feel all alone” God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

About maggieagrant

I love my family, friends, mountains, the beach, running, laughing, cooking, reading, and hearing and making music.
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