This morning on my walk I was thinking about the future. I decided that I need to work on not being upset or frustrated with myself for things in the past that I can no longer control or that are natural, like the fact that four years ago as I was applying for college I really had no idea what I wanted to study; or how a couple summers ago I didn’t think about the fact that maybe I’d want to live in Nashville or somewhere different after school, so I should get an internship there to start making connections.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because I feel like, had I known what I know about myself now, I would have made a lot of different decisions and felt more secure in them. There’s a part of this song by Montgomery Gentry that says “Tear off that rearview mirror, there’s nothing left to see.” I don’t advocate blocking out the past or disconnecting yourself completely from your former experiences, but sometimes it helps to stop looking backward at things you can’t change. I always say I’m not someone who has regrets, because I always learn from my experiences and decisions, even if they don’t turn out as I expected. I’m not sure if looking back and thinking, “If I’d only known . . .” is equal to having a regret (maybe it is), but I am confident that this way of thinking doesn’t change the future.
Sometimes I just need to stop looking back negatively on the past, stop analyzing what I should have done to make me happier or more successful now, and focus on how much I learned and grew from those experiences.