Yesterday was going fine until somewhere around 11:00 pm when, in the midst of searching for jobs online, I started feeling incredibly frustrated and down about myself and the whole process.  Recently (in the past few days), I’ve been feeling like I don’t even know what I want to do anymore, or where I want to go.  So now, not only do I feel like I’m not finding any jobs that I have experience for, I also feel like I don’t know if I’m looking in the right place.

I thought I had settled on mostly looking for jobs in Nashville because it’s a new place with lots of music and aspects I (think I) would like.  But now I am having other thoughts that make me think maybe I don’t want to live there.  Maybe I want to live in Charleston because every time I think of it, I just want to go back.  Or, maybe I just want to go home.  Or live with my grandparents.  I don’t think I am actually serious about those last two (especially the home one), but last night I was feeling low and just like I’m not sure of anything.  That, coupled with the plain difficulty of looking for jobs, increased my uncertainty about the future.

I have many people in my life who keep telling me not to worry, that they’re sure something great will come up for me, and I try to believe that.  Some days, I just feel like it’s hard to trust it, though.  This morning before I went to class, I opened my e-mail and hoped that my daily devotional would have some reassuring words for me.  When I read it, I saw that today’s scripture is one of my favorite verses, Romans 8:28, which reads “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Last spring when I was looking for summer jobs, Granddaddy reminded me of this as I applied for an internship program that I really wanted to be a part of.

I really hope that as I continue to try and figure out what I am called to do with this next chapter of my life, I am able to remember and trust that God works for my good.

P.S.  Some news I am most excited about in my (?) life right now is that Annie is moving to Memphis to teach with Teach for America and I could not be more proud of/happy for her!!


About maggieagrant

I love my family, friends, mountains, the beach, running, laughing, cooking, reading, and hearing and making music.
This entry was posted in Future, Jesus. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Trust

  1. HG says:

    It’s easy to get down when things are uncertain but keep the faith and while you’re keeping the faith, send more resume’s and call more people who might be able to help you get something.

    Remember, the first job will most likely be just that – the first job. You don’t have to find your ultimate, dream job first time out.

    I’ve been trusting the process all my life . . . with NO regrets! I know you’ll find a good fit!!

    Love you!

  2. Lynne Alley-Grant says:

    Hey Mags,
    Now here is the thing-seriously, maybe grad school. PRAY constantly, God help me see what you want me to see. Just take a peek at schools and see what peeks an interest!

  3. Julie Brunner says:

    Maggie! Tt’s easy to say “don’t worry, it will all work out” but it is definitely harder to believe that. I know. However, I know things will work out…even if it isn’t how you thought it would. I mean, there’s always a coffee shop! Those are everywhere and always hiring!

    And I like how your mom is pushing grad school–such a “mom thing” to do :)…mine did the same thing, and I will say I’m glad she did. Though I did need a little break after undergrad, I seriously LOVE grad school. It’s great learning about and focusing on things you actually care about and are passionate about.

    But, I definitely support moving in with grandparents…best year of my life 🙂

    And, I love to job search, so let me know what you want to do and I’ll start searching. Seriously. It’s weird how much I like to do this.

    Phew. The end.

  4. Julie Brunner says:

    Ugh. There’s a typo in the first sentence of my last comment. And it won’t let me edit. It’s killing me. That’s all. Love you!

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