I just realized I have only written five posts in 2012. I thought I was busy in college, but as it turns out, the “real world” hits hard and you find yourself strangely tired from sitting at your desk all day; tired mentally, at least. Some days I drive the thirty minutes to work, spend eight hours there, drive home on ridiculous 15-501 (most afternoons I am certain this “superstreet” is covered with brand new drivers who just left the DMV with their permits), and then wonder, “Wait, what did I actually do today?” I’m sure we all have those days where we feel almost utterly unaccomplished. Sometimes I am able to brush it off (“there’s always tomorrow”), but other days it really bothers me.
Due to a recent streak of “those” kind of days, I have been doing a lot of thinking about my job and the challenge of not losing sight of your passions if/when the job you are doing at any point in time does not easily match up with that which really floats your boat. Does anyone else have this issue?
Just to clarify, my job is a good job. Fortunately, I have a lot of flexibility and am able to direct my work in many different ways because we are in a transition phase– moving up to bigger and better things, surely. However, I often find myself wishing I felt more fulfilled on a regular basis in my work and reminiscing about past jobs that spoke more clearly to who I am and what I’ve always wanted to do. For me, if my work situation doesn’t allow me to direct a lot of attention to my dreams and passions, after a few months, the things and people I am really passionate about become a little muddled and I find myself feeling uncertain about what I want to be doing and how I really want to make a difference. When this happens, I know it’s time to have a long conversation with myself, make some lists, or recollect all those little parts of a future dream job I’ve scribbled down on tiny scraps of paper and used as bookmarks since I was fifteen. And, maybe most importantly, remember that our reactions can make or break anything– just because I don’t have my “dream job” now doesn’t mean I can’t live like I do.
Not every job is going to feel like a perfect fit (Dad assured me of this plenty in the past year), but God gives us experiences and we choose what to do with them. It’s sometimes easier said than done, but definitely worth more to seek the good rather than accentuate the bad. I am blessed to have a job at all, especially one that affords me much flexibility and opportunity to take things by the reigns and make them my own. Although I may never have pictured myself in my current work environment, I have come to the conclusion that I should find a way to fit my passions into my current job so that I am better able to be the person I was created to be.
I truly believe that “every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good” (Romans 8:28, The Message), so as long as I seek to love God and others in all that I do, I will be able to clearly see the blessings that already exist in abundance around me.