Home

It’s funny how the more life changes and you move around, my definition of “home” changes.  This weekend I went back to Williamsburg for Homecoming.  To be honest, most of my time in college I couldn’t really picture myself ever going back for it  However, as last week progressed, I found myself becoming increasingly excited for our weekend return.

When I was in school and would leave for the weekend, whether it was to visit home (my parents’ house), a friend, or take a random trip, I can’t really remember a time where I was anxious to return to Williamsburg.  Going back there meant back to books, studying, and stressful deadlines.  This feeling of wanting to take a break away from “real life” continues for most of us regardless of what phase we’re in, or even how happy we seem to be in the moment.  As I walked to breakfast on Sunday morning, I thought about how I didn’t want to leave Williamsburg and wake up at 6:30 Monday morning to go milk goats.

One of our challenges is to learn to appreciate each moment and space we’re in.  I’m blessed to have others in my life who are better at this than I am, and who remind me of the importance of being grateful for today and not continuously worrying about the future or what comes next.

Catch Up

The other day I got to wrangle some baby goats who escaped from their fence.  I tried not to let my bosses see (because they weren’t so amused at the babies’ antics), but I was smiling and laughing the whole time.  It was so fun!  The baby goats are extra cute, so it was hard for me to be mad at them for pulling me away from cleaning the milking parlor to go chase after them.  I haven’t had a chance to go around the farm and take some photos like I’d like too, but I did capture a few the other day as the “girls” (as we call them) were getting ready to be milked.

In other news, McKenzie and I went to the State Fair last night.  It was huge!  I have never seen so many fried food stands in my life; I think 80 percent of the fair was food.  We walked around, saw a concert, rode a ride, ate some fair food, and saw fireworks!  I love fireworks, so I’m so glad they shoot them off every night at the fair.  Also, my favorite part of the fair was seeing the farm animals and all the different vegetables in the competitions.  All those blue ribbons reminded me of Charlotte’s Web.

I’d post some pictures, but my computer still has a virus and I’m amazed that it’s actually letting me use it at all right now.

A Natural

I just realized that in my most recent update, I totally forgot to mention something!  The other night, I was milking the goats with one of the owners of the farm, Dave.  We were talking, and he asked me to remind him again where I was from.  After I responded, he asked, “But did you do anything agricultural growing up?”  I, of course, answered “Oh, no, nothing.”  Then, Dave, sounding surprised at my answer, said “Well, you really are a natural at milking!”  At the end of the night, he complimented my apparently excellent milking skills again, but calling me a milking “superstar!”

I graciously accepted his compliments, laughing to myself all the while.  I mean, I like the goats, and I don’t mind doing the milking, but I do think it’s a little funny that he considers me a natural!  And, even enough so that he told two other people on the farm about my apparent milking skills!  When I told McKenzie and Dad about what Dave said, they both had the same response:  laughter!  It’s OK though– I never imagined I’d be milking goats for a living either. 🙂

Jalapenos

I really hope that sometime in the very near future I will get back to a semi-normal writing schedule.  I am still in the process of finding my own place to live here, so my free time has mostly been consumed with searching for and visiting houses and apartments.  However, I did get to visit Aunt Cassie last weekend.  It is so nice that we only live an hour and a half apart now!  We went to the zoo for a short visit and I can’t wait to go back.

Work is going well.  I am slowly but surely learning the names of all the female goats that I milk each day (there are about fifty).  I really enjoy being around the goats, but I usually only see them in the morning or evening during milking.  They are very sweet-natured, for the most part.  The other day I spent some time with the babies, who are so cute!  My favorites so far are named Pickle and Erica.  Hopefully someday soon I’ll have a chance to take some pictures around the farm.

I am also learning a lot about making cheese, which is really interesting.  Oh, and I’ve been busy chopping sixty pounds of jalapenos.  Yes, sixty.  The farms sells plain chevre (the soft kind of goat cheese you’re usually most likely to see at the grocery store) and also some different flavors with other ingredients mixed in with the cheese.  One of those flavors is jalapeno, so we’ve been preparing them while the peppers are in season.  It will be convenient in a couple months, but right now I don’t know if I ever want to eat, smell, or touch another jalapeno.  Those little things burn so bad.

Anyway, today while I was chopping away, a podcast called “Life Flight” played from my co-worker Alice’s iPod.  The speaker, Kimberley Reed, tells her story of returning to her Montana hometown for her father’s funeral after being gone for years, and after having transitioned from being male to female.  In order to inform her family friends of her daughter’s new identity, Reed’s mother puts on a tea party for her closest friends, whom she called her “ambassadors.”  If anyone at her husband’s funeral asked about her former son, she would send them to an ambassador for them to explain.

The tea was a success, and the attendees responded lovingly to their friend’s announcement.  However, to avoid taking attention away from her father’s death, Reed decided not to attend the wake.  Afterward, she received a phone call from her childhood best friend, saying he and the whole football team (of which she had been quarterback) were about to arrive to visit with her.  Reed explains her anxiety upon learning that twenty of her closest buddies when she was a “him” would soon be sitting in her childhood living room, and then her relief that it felt like old times, and that her transition was a non-issue.

As it turns out, rather than judgment or questioning, Reed was confronted with acceptance from her hometown.  The support of her family and friends, many of whom she had expected to never see again, overwhelmed her.  Even as an unattached listener, her story moved me.  For those few minutes as Kimberley Reed shared her story of fear, I was grateful for my millions of jalapenos– for once I’d have an excuse for tearing up.

Bleat

The past month flew by.  I’ve wanted to write a number of times since my last post, but things have been pretty busy so it didn’t happen.  After my summer job ended, I spent two weeks at the beach and a little bit of time at home before I packed up my things (again) and headed south. 

Today is my two week anniversary of living in North Carolina!  I continued my full-time job search as soon as I arrived, and fortunately, on Sunday I got a job!  I started work Monday morning bright and early (7:00) at a goat dairy farm.  My job is to milk the goats and make cheese, bread, and cheesecakes.  It is definitely not the sort of job I was expecting to have right now, well probably ever, but so far it’s been pretty good!  Although I’m pretty sure I won’t be a “dairy fairy” forever, I’m excited that I get to learn lots of new things and that I have an interesting job for now.

So, that’s the update on my life.  I would put up some pictures of the end of my summer, but unfortunately my computer is real sick with a virus right now so that is not possible.  Next up for me is finding a place to live in Durham since the farm is an hour away from where I’ve been staying.  This post isn’t that interesting and is definitely not extraordinary, but hopefully it won’t take me so long to write next time.  Maybe I’ll have some funny goat stories to tell.  🙂

P.S.  The title of this post (“Bleat”) is because I couldn’t think of anything else and figured a goat sound might be appropriate.

August Afternoon

Faith

When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown,
you must believe that one of two things will happen:

There will be something solid for you to stand upon,
or, you will be taught how to fly

-p.o.

Taste of Summer

Last summer I ate a tomato sandwich and okra at least once a day.  Those kind of luxuries were not readily available to me the past couple months, so I’ve been extra excited to take advantage of summer’s fresh vegetables and a well-stocked  kitchen to make up for lost time.  🙂  Mmm.

Lake Mercer

As I mentioned recently, I’ve made a few very surprising discoveries since I’ve been here in Northern Virginia.  A few weeks after I arrived here, I passed a mini gravel parking lot tucked on the side of the Hooes Road (Isn’t that a funny name?) and noticed a state park-looking sign.  I made a mental note to come back soon and check it out, and that’s what I did.

The first night I went, I started up a path through the woods that ended with a quick hike up a very steep hill .  About five minutes later, I was pleasantly surprised to discover a lake.  Not thinking about it, I’d started my walk just before sunset, and arrived atop the steep hill (which I later realized was a very large, grass-covered dam) just in time to watch as the sunlight filled the gaps in between the clouds, reflecting its artistry onto the water.

I didn’t have my camera that first night, but I went back and took a few pictures another time.  Who would have thought– in Fairfax Station, Virginia (I recently met someone who explained it’s “really just a zip code”).

It’s Not Fair

Life is hard.  It is unfair.  Things happen unexpectedly.  I remember my mother telling me this as a child, which most likely incited pouting.  As an adult, I sometimes feel as if my only option is to drop to my knees and cry.  Or pray.  Preferably the latter, but for me the former occurs all too often and usually before it.

According to my granddaddy, when I was a very little girl, I woke up one morning and began parading through the house, repeating “It’s not fair, it’s not fair,” over and over again.  No one ever really understood what initiated that declaration, but over the years, Granddaddy has used it to support the fact that I’ve always been intuitively aware of and ultra-sensitive to the world’s injustices.

I contemplate life’s inequalities practically every day and want to dedicate my life’s work to confronting them.  I always figured Granddaddy’s was as good an explanation as any for my outburst as a little girl, but I never really recognized life’s unfairness on a personal level.  Recently, on days when I feel it affecting me more intimately than it has in the past (and more personally than my overarching belief that we are all interconnected and one person’s struggle belongs, really, to us all), I remember still that I am beyond blessed.  I love my life and everyone in it.  And, while I cannot control the actions or thoughts of others, I can choose my own and will strive to do so with love and grace.

My dear friend whom I love so much, Celesta, sent me a reminder of the fruits of such hard times tonight.  Interestingly, verses 2-8 in the 1st chapter of James have reappeared countless times in different ways throughout my life since January.  It makes sense, especially because I started my job search then, which has so far proven to be very frustrating and sometimes disheartening.  James says:

“² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. ⁸ Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.”

I am thankful today for the love of friends, and for reminders that our struggles are not in vain, even on the days when we wake up thinking, “It’s not fair, it’s not fair.”